The past ten years has decidedly changed dating advice for women. It used to be the norm that women were advised to be (and do) whatever their man desired. Unfortunately, no one can keep this charade going forever, so the relationship would end sooner than later.

“The first few months of every relationship are perfect, and then it all goes to hell! What am I doing wrong?” Does this sound familiar? Although you may have good intentions, there is no benefit to trying too hard. Below, I’ve put together some sound dating tips for you women so that you can easily avoid this mistake and make your dating pursuits run more smoothly.

Never bring up your last relationship (or any ex for that matter!) on the first few dates. Men will interpret this in one of two ways: Either you’re still obsessed with your ex, or you’re bitter about getting dumped. Neither are good, so avoid this subject altogether! A guy will simply pass on a woman he thinks has too much emotional baggage.

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You probably think that the statement “Be yourself” is far too simple to be a successful dating tip. Well, stop trying to complicate everything! Forget pulling out all the stops trying to be a sexy seductress if you’re the girl next door. Similarly, don’t play the girl next door if you’re not that type. The only thing you can achieve by pretending to be something you’re not is increasingly frustrate yourself, and completely offend your mate once he catches on to your dishonesty.

Try not to let your girlhood fantasies of your wedding day get out of hand- or at least, keep them to yourself. Even if you think this man is the one, don’t scare him off by talking about your future dreams of marriage and family too early. The most crucial piece of dating advice for women is to understand that men like to take things slower than you do. They enjoy the chase, so they don’t want to be considered as a potential life partner after only several dates. You will just make them feel trapped; and like all trapped animals, they will instinctively run for their lives.

A very often heard complaint from men is how many women cannot accept a compliment. When a man tells you that you look pretty, simply answer with a “Thank you”. Don’t question his judgment (e.g. “You’re just saying that.”) or put yourself down (e.g. “I feel really fat today.”). This just makes you look insecure and uncomfortable in your own body.

How do you expect him to find you attractive, if you don’t believe that you are?! You also shouldn’t bore him with the details of how you borrowed the dress from a friend because it was too expensive to buy yourself, and on and on, blah, blah, blah. If he says you look lovely in the dress, simply acknowledge the compliment and move on. He will appreciate being thanked for taking the time to noticing how nice you look.

Be Punctual

This piece of advice applies to both women and men. Whether you’re meeting a man at a bar or restaurant, or he’s coming to pick you up, it’s neither polite nor thoughtful to leave him waiting. You may think it builds anticipation, but you’re wrong! All it does is make you seem rude and selfish.

Anyone would get bored being with someone who agrees with everything they say. At first it may boost the ego, but that quickly fades to boredom and eventually irritation. Even men want someone they can sustain an intelligent conversation with. It’s also personally draining to maintain that kind of charade – how long can you really keep this up? As this Marie Claire article says, stand up for issues that you believe in, and discuss events honestly. However, there’s no need to be indignant- no one likes a stubborn mule- and get into an argument just to prove you’re right. The fact that you have differing opinions and ideas about things is what adds spice to a relationship.

No One Likes a Pest

Men do not liked to be nagged- not at the beginning of a relationship, not ever! Men do, however, like to know that they are appreciated. You can definitely call a man a few days after a date to thank him for a nice evening. But never call the next day, then the next day, and again the next. Call ONCE, and if he’s not there leave ONE message – if he’s interested, he will call you back. It may take him a few days to get back to you- don’t freak out just yet-he could be busy, he could be shy, or he could be following his friends’ advice about waiting 2-3 days to return your call. If he is interested in you, then increasingly desperate, repeat messages from you will only hurt your cause.

Be Positive

When you are on a date, the goal is to have a pleasant and relaxing evening, to get away from the daily grind of your lives. So choose your topics of conversation accordingly. Spilling your guts about how your parents drive you crazy and why you want to quit your job will not set the right mood for the evening. Yes, you want your partner to be a lover and a friend…but everything in good time, my dear! Too many confessions aren’t good for the relationship in its early stages, and too much complaining gives a man the impression that you are not (and may never be) happy with your life.

There is evermore dating advice for women, but the eight major rules above are all you will need to cover you in almost every situation. Remember, whether it’s your first or tenth date, be true to yourself, honest with him, and kind to you both.