We have been primarily focusing on the couple, so let us turn the tables onto the outsider, or “guest”. Being the outsider in a threesome is probably the best position (pun intended) to be in, or at least much less complicated.

Since there is no emotional ties to the others involved, that individual is there exclusively for the sex act. In most cases, the guest gets treated like the star of the show, since they are the source of exhilaration and variety for the couple.

getting wild

The guest makes the couple’s fantasy come true, and that too can be a source of pleasure for the outsider. So, if you enjoy getting a lot of attention, and if it would please you to fulfil others’ fantasies, then being the third member in a threesome is a sure-fire way to achieve this.

The only downfall to being the guest in a threesome may come when participating with a couple who is experiencing a threesome for the first time, especially if you are a female guest of a couple in which the wife or girlfriend is really not into it! It doesn’t even matter if she originally thought she’d enjoy it – it will undoubtedly end badly. This places the guest in a very uncomfortable situation, as she will become the source of any argument between the partners. Needless to say, the guest ends up feeling responsible.

How do you initiate the topic with your partner?
Note: If your partner is your spouse or someone you are truly in love with, PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

If you are determined to share the fantasy of a threesome with your loved one, it is possible to share it with your partner by keeping it purely in the fantasy realm. In other words, initiate sex talk about threesomes in the bedroom: create stories consisting of you and your partner and a third person. Ask your partner to also participate in the sex talk.

This way you and your partner are equal participants in your fantasy, plus there are no repercussions from actually doing it. Your partner may even surprise you by becoming more turned on then you imagined. There is also the slight chance that this may sway your partner into trying the real thing. Yet, I sincerely suggest that you take my previous advice on this matter: I’ve seen threesomes backfire way too many times with couples who are married or in a serious relationship. Once you’ve been there, there is no going back!

Your partner will never be free of the image of you being intimate with someone else. Ending your marriage or your loving relationship is not worth and a threesome. So, instead consider keeping your threesomes just between the two of you! The New York Times has a different take on this.

For those couples who are not married or necessarily ‘in love‘, or for those who are absolutely certain that pursuing a threesome will not jeopardize the relationship, you should approach the conversation delicately. Initiate an honest conversation with your partner suggesting what you desire, and please USE COMMON SENSE. Is your partner very sexual? Is he/she one been known to experiment sexually?

Do you talk about your sexual fantasies together? Has your partner ever expressed interest in the same-sex? These are all essential questions in determining whether or not your partner should be asked to participate in a threesome. I thought the things discussed in this Huffington Post article made sense. For example, if your partner is typically conservative in the bedroom, was a virgin until she was 25 years old, and has only had sex with one other man, then I wouldn’t even bring it up!

Once you think you have found a potential partner to approach, it is best to bring the topic up during sexual activity. When your partner is already turned on, you are more likely to get the answer you are looking for! The way to suggest a threesome depends on the people involved and the relationship you have together: there is no right or wrong way to approach it.

What is essential is that you stress the fact that your seeking a third participant is not because your partner is lacking in any way, shape, or form! Also make sure that you emphasize that the sexual fantasy is for BOTH of you, and so they are an integral part of the experience.